akward times

Okay, so I have a secret...I've been doing the Eharmony match-making deal on the internet for the past couple months. I always swore I'd never do that but when you are my age and content to go home at night and throw on your pj's,the chances of meeting someone gets pretty slim. Some friends tell me the only way I am ever gonna meet anyone is if they throw themselves in front of my car. Unfortunately, this is probably not too far from the truth.
Lastnight I went out with one of "my matches". We met for dinner and... well, it was awkward, at first. I hated the first part of the dinner. I felt like I was in some interview and felt myself analyzing my every answer. "Did that make sense?", "Do I look like an idiot?" , "Do I have lettuce in my teeth?" It was miserable and I was quickly reminded of why I don't date.
After dinner, Shawn offered to walk me to my car. I'm not sure what happened; if it was the night air, the fact I was only feet away from my car and could bolt in a flash, or if it was the fact that I knew this night was coming to an end I needed to "save face". Regardless of the reason, I totally mellowed out. In the last 30-40 minutes of our conversation I felt comfortable. And he noticed. He was a pretty observant guy and very calming. I had made a comment earlier in the night about how hard it is to be 'real' during those first encounters... but by the end of the evening I found myself feeling more and more like myself.
There were no sparks, he didn't ask me to marry him and we didn't set a second date in stone. But, I did step outside of my comfort zone and meet someone who chose to take time out of their night to get to know me a little. Who knows, nothing may come from this or I may have a new found friend, but regardless as with many of life's experiences, I learned a little about myself.
For a guy who only knew me 2 hours, he was very encouraging and gave me some good insight into myself. And, if for nothing else other than that, it was worth the time.