Okay, so I have a secret...I've been doing the Eharmony match-making deal on the internet for the past couple months. I always swore I'd never do that but when you are my age and content to go home at night and throw on your pj's,the chances of meeting someone gets pretty slim. Some friends tell me the only way I am ever gonna meet anyone is if they throw themselves in front of my car. Unfortunately, this is probably not too far from the truth.
Lastnight I went out with one of "my matches". We met for dinner and... well, it was awkward, at first. I hated the first part of the dinner. I felt like I was in some interview and felt myself analyzing my every answer. "Did that make sense?", "Do I look like an idiot?" , "Do I have lettuce in my teeth?" It was miserable and I was quickly reminded of why I don't date.
After dinner, Shawn offered to walk me to my car. I'm not sure what happened; if it was the night air, the fact I was only feet away from my car and could bolt in a flash, or if it was the fact that I knew this night was coming to an end I needed to "save face". Regardless of the reason, I totally mellowed out. In the last 30-40 minutes of our conversation I felt comfortable. And he noticed. He was a pretty observant guy and very calming. I had made a comment earlier in the night about how hard it is to be 'real' during those first encounters... but by the end of the evening I found myself feeling more and more like myself.
There were no sparks, he didn't ask me to marry him and we didn't set a second date in stone. But, I did step outside of my comfort zone and meet someone who chose to take time out of their night to get to know me a little. Who knows, nothing may come from this or I may have a new found friend, but regardless as with many of life's experiences, I learned a little about myself.
For a guy who only knew me 2 hours, he was very encouraging and gave me some good insight into myself. And, if for nothing else other than that, it was worth the time.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
akward times
Okay, so I have a secret...I've been doing the Eharmony match-making deal on the internet for the past couple months. I always swore I'd never do that but when you are my age and content to go home at night and throw on your pj's,the chances of meeting someone gets pretty slim. Some friends tell me the only way I am ever gonna meet anyone is if they throw themselves in front of my car. Unfortunately, this is probably not too far from the truth.
Lastnight I went out with one of "my matches". We met for dinner and... well, it was awkward, at first. I hated the first part of the dinner. I felt like I was in some interview and felt myself analyzing my every answer. "Did that make sense?", "Do I look like an idiot?" , "Do I have lettuce in my teeth?" It was miserable and I was quickly reminded of why I don't date.
After dinner, Shawn offered to walk me to my car. I'm not sure what happened; if it was the night air, the fact I was only feet away from my car and could bolt in a flash, or if it was the fact that I knew this night was coming to an end I needed to "save face". Regardless of the reason, I totally mellowed out. In the last 30-40 minutes of our conversation I felt comfortable. And he noticed. He was a pretty observant guy and very calming. I had made a comment earlier in the night about how hard it is to be 'real' during those first encounters... but by the end of the evening I found myself feeling more and more like myself.
There were no sparks, he didn't ask me to marry him and we didn't set a second date in stone. But, I did step outside of my comfort zone and meet someone who chose to take time out of their night to get to know me a little. Who knows, nothing may come from this or I may have a new found friend, but regardless as with many of life's experiences, I learned a little about myself.
For a guy who only knew me 2 hours, he was very encouraging and gave me some good insight into myself. And, if for nothing else other than that, it was worth the time.
Lastnight I went out with one of "my matches". We met for dinner and... well, it was awkward, at first. I hated the first part of the dinner. I felt like I was in some interview and felt myself analyzing my every answer. "Did that make sense?", "Do I look like an idiot?" , "Do I have lettuce in my teeth?" It was miserable and I was quickly reminded of why I don't date.
After dinner, Shawn offered to walk me to my car. I'm not sure what happened; if it was the night air, the fact I was only feet away from my car and could bolt in a flash, or if it was the fact that I knew this night was coming to an end I needed to "save face". Regardless of the reason, I totally mellowed out. In the last 30-40 minutes of our conversation I felt comfortable. And he noticed. He was a pretty observant guy and very calming. I had made a comment earlier in the night about how hard it is to be 'real' during those first encounters... but by the end of the evening I found myself feeling more and more like myself.
There were no sparks, he didn't ask me to marry him and we didn't set a second date in stone. But, I did step outside of my comfort zone and meet someone who chose to take time out of their night to get to know me a little. Who knows, nothing may come from this or I may have a new found friend, but regardless as with many of life's experiences, I learned a little about myself.
For a guy who only knew me 2 hours, he was very encouraging and gave me some good insight into myself. And, if for nothing else other than that, it was worth the time.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Hump Day
Oh Glory --- it's hump day! That doesn't mean much since I have to work this weekend. My last "official weekend of work" before the new gig is up. I'm getting more and more anxious about it as the time draws nearer. I am very encouraged by the confidence the staff has in me, but nervous about it at the same time. I don't want to let anyone down. But, then I think --- I'm an athlete I can usually come through under pressure; why should my job be any different? Right? Right!
I do have the day off tomorrow, which WAS exciting until I started making my list of things to do. Now I am beginning to think it would be less hectic just to go to work. Though I am excited to meet my friend, Katie and her baby for lunch. That makes me happy and will likely be the highlight of my day. My poor car has to go to the auto doctor tomorrow --- some erg, egr, or abc valve is broken and time to be fixed. Especially if I'm gonna get my new TN license plates.... all the cool people have them. :) We have some crazy emission law around here and you have to get your emissions tested before they will allow you to get your registration renewed. Just another way to make a buck,I guess. But be the good law-abiding person that I am, I will get it checked.
Speaking of law abiding --- I got a speeding ticket today. I guess it was just meant to be. I got pulled over yesterday and received a warning ... today, however ---not so lucky. I know, I know TWO DAYS in a row! What can I say? I don't feel good and when I don't feel good the last thing I want to do is drive. So, I hurry from here to there and BAM ---they got me. I've never been to drivers classes before but I am thinking it might be a good idea at this time. I don't want that crazy ticket on my insurance. We'll see, I am gonna have to look into that deal and see if its worth the time. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be.
So, all that to say ---it's HUMP DAY. But, to me, it's just another day. Hope yours is good.
I do have the day off tomorrow, which WAS exciting until I started making my list of things to do. Now I am beginning to think it would be less hectic just to go to work. Though I am excited to meet my friend, Katie and her baby for lunch. That makes me happy and will likely be the highlight of my day. My poor car has to go to the auto doctor tomorrow --- some erg, egr, or abc valve is broken and time to be fixed. Especially if I'm gonna get my new TN license plates.... all the cool people have them. :) We have some crazy emission law around here and you have to get your emissions tested before they will allow you to get your registration renewed. Just another way to make a buck,I guess. But be the good law-abiding person that I am, I will get it checked.
Speaking of law abiding --- I got a speeding ticket today. I guess it was just meant to be. I got pulled over yesterday and received a warning ... today, however ---not so lucky. I know, I know TWO DAYS in a row! What can I say? I don't feel good and when I don't feel good the last thing I want to do is drive. So, I hurry from here to there and BAM ---they got me. I've never been to drivers classes before but I am thinking it might be a good idea at this time. I don't want that crazy ticket on my insurance. We'll see, I am gonna have to look into that deal and see if its worth the time. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be.
So, all that to say ---it's HUMP DAY. But, to me, it's just another day. Hope yours is good.
Monday, January 23, 2006
I'm not sure what to blog about at this moment...nothing to fascinating going on this evening. I had a good weekend and though I'm often okay with facing Monday morning today was difficult for some reason. I think I had too much "down time" yesterday evening. I had tickets to see HAIRSPRAY ( a friend and I purchased season tickets to the TN Performing Arts Center) but lastnight was rainy, stormy and just plain gross so I didn't want to get out. So, I didn't. I laid on my couch with two candles burning listening to sappy love songs and requests.
Earlier during the weekend I spent some quality time with one of my favorite boys, G. He's 12 and adorable. He had called late Saturday morning to see if he could spend the day with me. Of course, I said yes. We went to a basketball game, then to run some errands, out to dinner and to a movie. It was nice. I was encouraged by the manners he displayed while we were out -- he opened a door for me every time he got the chance. I was impressed --- chilvary (is that how you spell it?) LIVES!
Now, I sit as my desk at work... watching the clock move ever so slowly. If I'm quiet enough, I can hear my pillow, blankets and bed yelling at me in the distance. My head continues to hurt and I'm pretty certain this computer isn't helping. So, perhaps I should sign off and just let my eyes rest. I think I'll do that...
Earlier during the weekend I spent some quality time with one of my favorite boys, G. He's 12 and adorable. He had called late Saturday morning to see if he could spend the day with me. Of course, I said yes. We went to a basketball game, then to run some errands, out to dinner and to a movie. It was nice. I was encouraged by the manners he displayed while we were out -- he opened a door for me every time he got the chance. I was impressed --- chilvary (is that how you spell it?) LIVES!
Now, I sit as my desk at work... watching the clock move ever so slowly. If I'm quiet enough, I can hear my pillow, blankets and bed yelling at me in the distance. My head continues to hurt and I'm pretty certain this computer isn't helping. So, perhaps I should sign off and just let my eyes rest. I think I'll do that...
Friday, January 20, 2006
Early Blessings
It's not technically my 32nd year yet, but good things have been happening. About 2 1/2 weeks ago I was approached by my former supervisor (now a big cheese here at the agency I work for) and asked about my professional goals. After a short while she approached me about some upcoming opportunities she wanted me to take advantage of her at our agency. Her confidence and support led me to a few interviews and now 2 1/2 weeks later, I have accepted a job in managment as a supervisor of a team here at MHC. I'm pretty excited about it. So the new job change to take place, February 6th would be blessing #1.
As for blessing #2, it is still in the works but I am looking into buying a condo. I found a great one in the area where I currently lived. I'm still working through some financial details but it looks like it could happen. I feel so grown up, or at least like I am headed in that direction. I'm humbled and grateful for the early blessings of my 32nd year and find myself wanting to "do right" so as not to mess anything up. What a warped thought process --- to think that i have done anything to deserve any of the blessings I have received. I suppose the thought process should be to remain grateful for that which is sent my way and be wise in the process of change, whatever that looks like.
As for blessing #2, it is still in the works but I am looking into buying a condo. I found a great one in the area where I currently lived. I'm still working through some financial details but it looks like it could happen. I feel so grown up, or at least like I am headed in that direction. I'm humbled and grateful for the early blessings of my 32nd year and find myself wanting to "do right" so as not to mess anything up. What a warped thought process --- to think that i have done anything to deserve any of the blessings I have received. I suppose the thought process should be to remain grateful for that which is sent my way and be wise in the process of change, whatever that looks like.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
#32
As we all did, I just started a new year. Not just any year... my 32nd year! That is a pretty big deal to me. Remember when you were in high school and/or junior high and you'd sit next to the athletes in your class? Remember how they would write their number next to their name as they signed their assignments? Or how they would prance around in their football (or my in case, volleyball) jacket or jersey, wearing their number with pride as though they had just been given a gold medal in the olympics? Well, I was that person. And when I was in school my number was 32! I was obsessed. I'd think it was some special sign if I looked at the clock and it was "8:32" or if gas was only $1.32, I'd shout out "32! Did you see it?!" After showering, I'd vandalize the fogged up bathroom mirror with 32's ranging in size. I even went so far as to get a Highway 32 sign (illegal, I know) for my 16th birthday from a dear friend of mine, at the time. Anyway, like I said, I was obsessed.
The point you ask? Well I recently realized this is my 32nd year...not only that but I was born on the 32nd day of the year! February 1st for those who can't figure it out. Do you know it took me 32 years to realize I was born on the 32nd day?! I shouldn't tell people that, but its true. Oh yeah, back to the point... I am claiming that this year is my best year yet. It HAS to be ... I mean after all its my 32nd year. So keep reading in the days to come as I share with you some of the newest, greatest happenings in my not-so-entertaining life. :)
The point you ask? Well I recently realized this is my 32nd year...not only that but I was born on the 32nd day of the year! February 1st for those who can't figure it out. Do you know it took me 32 years to realize I was born on the 32nd day?! I shouldn't tell people that, but its true. Oh yeah, back to the point... I am claiming that this year is my best year yet. It HAS to be ... I mean after all its my 32nd year. So keep reading in the days to come as I share with you some of the newest, greatest happenings in my not-so-entertaining life. :)
Monday, January 16, 2006
TELEPHONE
You know that game we used to play as children? The one called "TELEPHONE"? I hate that game. You know the drill - one person starts by saying something and then it goes down the line until the last person hears it and when they blurt it out it is something completely different than originally said. Yeah, that's the one. As an adult, I like to call it "RUMOR STARTING". I've experienced some TELEPHONE/RUMOR STARTING lately and it is very frustrating. Fortunately, I found out because a good friend had the sense to communicate with me and we later learned the the "telephone connection" broke down and... well, what could have potientially been a disruption in our "service" (friendship) was mended. Props to those who aren't afraid to communicate!
Alots been going on in my life this year (all 16 days of it!) More than I will be able to share in the coming days... so stay tuned! :)
Alots been going on in my life this year (all 16 days of it!) More than I will be able to share in the coming days... so stay tuned! :)
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
a night with my boys
I'm not a mom, but I play one .... not on tv, but everynow and then I get the privledge of caring (in great capacity) for two wonderful boys. Tonight is one of those nights. I remember vividly when I was growing up and I'd smart talk my mom, or whine and complain about something...anything and the response would be "one day when you have kids of your own, you'll understand." Well, like I said... I'm not a mom, but I think I "get it." Or at least I "get it" more than I used to.
I've been here watching my not-so-little buddies, the youngest is 8 and the eldest, 12...going on 18. Scary! What is it about boys and bodily functions? I hadn't been here 20 minutes and the youngest felt it necessary to play the "butt trumpet" for me. Of course, I laugh at first and quickly follow up with, "say excuse me, please?" He doesn't want excused - he wants laughs! I sit and laugh at him as I attempt to ward off his every attempt at staying up til his mom gets home. (I used to do that!) I usually calm him down by telling him a G-rated version of one of my work stories often embelished to entertain yet modified not to scar. As for the eldest, well he was in rare form tonight - procrastination at its finest. "let me make you cookies..." ".... let's talk I haven't seen you for awhile"... or (the one I used) "I can always do it tomorrow". Well, mom said it'd all come back around once I had kids -- the good Lord didn't even wait til then. I think I was so mischevious as a kid, i am gonna get a double dose. It's alright though, with that I've learned, love far out-weighs the frustration of sibling rivalries, school-work procrastination and nasty smelling gases coming from 8 year old boodies.
All in all, it's been a good night. Because as I mentioned earlier, these two little men also make my heart tender...in a way only children could.
I've been here watching my not-so-little buddies, the youngest is 8 and the eldest, 12...going on 18. Scary! What is it about boys and bodily functions? I hadn't been here 20 minutes and the youngest felt it necessary to play the "butt trumpet" for me. Of course, I laugh at first and quickly follow up with, "say excuse me, please?" He doesn't want excused - he wants laughs! I sit and laugh at him as I attempt to ward off his every attempt at staying up til his mom gets home. (I used to do that!) I usually calm him down by telling him a G-rated version of one of my work stories often embelished to entertain yet modified not to scar. As for the eldest, well he was in rare form tonight - procrastination at its finest. "let me make you cookies..." ".... let's talk I haven't seen you for awhile"... or (the one I used) "I can always do it tomorrow". Well, mom said it'd all come back around once I had kids -- the good Lord didn't even wait til then. I think I was so mischevious as a kid, i am gonna get a double dose. It's alright though, with that I've learned, love far out-weighs the frustration of sibling rivalries, school-work procrastination and nasty smelling gases coming from 8 year old boodies.
All in all, it's been a good night. Because as I mentioned earlier, these two little men also make my heart tender...in a way only children could.
Ttime
Ttime
Well, day number two of my life as a blogger --- so far, so good. It's mid-day and my day has been busy thus far, but my thoughts and my heart are very tender at this moment. So, I thought I'd stop doing work for a minute or two and write down what is going on inside of me...
Isn't it great the influence that people have on our lives? The way a memory can make you smile or the sound of a voice bring a tear to your eye? I love that about the people in my life. I love the way relationships make our hearts tender; especially in a world full of busy-ness and chaos. I know, your asking - "where is all this coming from"? Let me tell you:
My dear friend has the sweetest mother I know and today is her birthday (the mother, not the friend). I just called her to wish her a birthday greeting, with the hopes of brightening her day, but the strangest thing happened - she brightened mine! People like that make my heart tender and I am so grateful for that! She is one of those people that makes you think "I want to be like that when I grow up!" :) Lord willing, I will be like my sweet Mamma Lows. I hope any and all who read this have sweet persons placed in your life; people that bring smiles with memories and joyful tears with the sound of their voice.
Well, day number two of my life as a blogger --- so far, so good. It's mid-day and my day has been busy thus far, but my thoughts and my heart are very tender at this moment. So, I thought I'd stop doing work for a minute or two and write down what is going on inside of me...
Isn't it great the influence that people have on our lives? The way a memory can make you smile or the sound of a voice bring a tear to your eye? I love that about the people in my life. I love the way relationships make our hearts tender; especially in a world full of busy-ness and chaos. I know, your asking - "where is all this coming from"? Let me tell you:
My dear friend has the sweetest mother I know and today is her birthday (the mother, not the friend). I just called her to wish her a birthday greeting, with the hopes of brightening her day, but the strangest thing happened - she brightened mine! People like that make my heart tender and I am so grateful for that! She is one of those people that makes you think "I want to be like that when I grow up!" :) Lord willing, I will be like my sweet Mamma Lows. I hope any and all who read this have sweet persons placed in your life; people that bring smiles with memories and joyful tears with the sound of their voice.
Monday, January 09, 2006
trying to figure this out
I'm gonna need your patience while I try to "organize" this blog thing. At this point, I don't know the difference between my blog name, user name, and who knows what else. Keep in mind, I've given into the peer pressure here--- this could take some time.
for starters
Okay, so a few of my friends are doing this BLOG thing and they love it. Well, I love that they do it. It's a great way to keep track of what is going on in their lives. Especially when you wish so badly you could be with them...just hanging out, having pajama days, sharing stories and laughing. SO --- this is for you Mandy- Schmandy! ENJOY!
I'm not real certain what one should put in a BLOG, I highly doubt my life is worth reading about. Though, I often put my deepest thoughts on paper so you just never know what you might be reading in the upcoming days, months and who knows... maybe years! (We'll take it a day at a time right now.)
I'm not real certain what one should put in a BLOG, I highly doubt my life is worth reading about. Though, I often put my deepest thoughts on paper so you just never know what you might be reading in the upcoming days, months and who knows... maybe years! (We'll take it a day at a time right now.)
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