Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Ever have those days when you attend a church service and the whole time you think "dawg, this was being said just for me."? I do and today was one of those days. Lately, I've been attending our 6pm service, for no other reason than convenience. I have been using the mornings to sleep in and the afternoons to work out. By six, I'm ready for a little introspection and "divine dialogue".



I was out of town last weekend and unable to attend church, so yesterday I logged on to listen to the sermon --- to see what I missed so I'd be prepared for today. I was blown away with what I heard. Pastor Pete spoke of "being stalled" in your spiritual walk. I've been there for what seems to be going on two years now, so I was feeling intrigued. Despite the temptation to do other things this evening, I showered up and headed to church. I went in with that ... "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" mentality. And He did.



I'm feeling a little open tonight, so I''ll just preface the next part with --- I've been seeing a counselor for the past several weeks. (I'm a licensed counselor and there is a little truth to the "they want to fix everyone's problems, because they can't fix there own" mentality".) Anyway, during my last session the therapist and I spoke about my hurried life. The feeling of being over-worked, over-whelmed, and under-rested. The feeling of never being caught up, good enough, or having enough hours in the day. She encouraged me to take time out to rest ..... to breathe.... to just "be" in the moment. I stink at that. Sure, I may not have kids. I may be single. But I hit the ground running and don't stop until the meds kick in and I pass out at night. So as you can imagine, I was stopped in my tracks tonight when the sermon started off with the Pastor saying, "I'm addicted to hurry". Me too!!



My counselor asked me to think about my hurried life and why it is that I put so much effort in staying busy. I began asking, What am I afraid of uncovering in the silence? Who's voice am I afraid of hearing? Emails, radios, cell phones, unfinished laundry, dirty car ... my life is full of distraction. It's all stuff that can wait, but I choose to make it priority out of fear. I fear silence. I fear calm. I fear what will fill the void of "empty time". So, I'm convicted by my counselor and The Counselor tonight... when will I make some time for solitude this week? How will I slow down my pace during the work day? What will I FEEL when I take time to breathe and just be in the moment of silence?



What do you do to create solitude in your life? Am I the only one preoccupied with multi-tasking, making lists, and thinking about the next appointment?

"In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding; no friends to talk with, no telephone
calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to
distract, just me - naked , vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken --
nothing. It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude.
A nothingness so dreadful that everything in me wants to run to my friends, my
work, and my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself
believe that I am worth somethings". (Henri Nouwen, The Here and Now).