Single is Less?

My name is Traci and I'm a workaholic. I was speaking with a friend lastnight about all the time I spend at the office. She was doing the same. We were both quick to blame it on singleness, but I've slept since then and I think differently now. I don't think my workaholic nature is a result of my marriage status, or of whether or not I have children. Sure, I have more time to spend away from home because I don't have the obligations and/or responsibilities to a husband and children. But, that doesn't mean I don't have obligations or other responsibilities. I work because I choose to work. I work because of my personality. For example, I'm off the next 3 days and there is little time for rest but it's because I like it that way. It's because I don't like to sit idle, maybe between 9 and 10 when Law and Order is on, or on Sunday when the NFL is on, but other than that I'm a busy bee.

I'm writing this because I'm mad at myself. One of my biggest frustrations with others is how people tend to discount or minimize the fulfillment of one's life/time based on their marriage status or whether or not they have children. I'll spare you the little quotes that sting me like a thousand bees, but you know them.... heck, you've probably said them. (I have and I still hate them). But my point is this, it isn't someone's marriage status or whether or not they have children that make a persons time or life more valuable. It's all about priority. I'm not less of a person because I don't have to schedule my work around children's soccer and boyscouts. I'm not incomplete because I don't share a bed with someone everynight. I'm not "less tired" because I'm not chasing kids around all day. My priorities are different because they CAN be. My schedule is full with things that are important to me. It doesn't mean that I'm not giving my life, gifts or love to someone else (it may not be a child or a husband), but I don't have to have those things in order to become fatigued from "giving my life to others".

No, I'm not meaning to preach here, but just keep this in mind:

THOSE SINGLE with NO CHILDREN: our life is just as full, just as completed and just as important as anyone else's. We're not less because of what we don't have, we're given opportunity to be/do more, because we are less restricted.

FOR THOSE MARRIED w/ CHILDREN: God Bless Ya, as you have more to consider as you schedule your life/daily events. Keep in mind that those who are single and part of your life still want to remain just that....part of your life. Find opportunities to let those people play a role in the life you have with your children and spouse.

I know I speak for both myself and my friend with whom I was speaking with lastnight, when I say that some of the greatest moments of my (our) life (lives) have come from hearing a little voice pray, or sitting around the table listening to children sing their ABC's. I'd be foolish to say/think that children and the love and joy they bring could ever be out measured by something else (I know they can't) but if I've learned one thing over the past 6 years it is that they don't have to be your children to be proud of them and to love them.

However, I can also say that some of my greatest moments have come from opporutunities to have a Girls' Weekend, to travel, to give fully and completely to a job I love, to share in the lives of others, to have restful weekends at home or to have pajama day as a 30 year old in the middle of winter.

One is not better than the other.... they are just "different" and different is good.