Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Like a fine wine....

So, I'm lying here in bed doing the one thing you aren't really supposed to do before going to sleep ---- playing on my computer. "They" say it's over-stimulating and can lead to difficulties sleeping. I certainly don't need any help in that department but it seems the only time of day to really settle back and catch up on my friends by viewing their blogs. I love technology and it's ability to keep us connected. Special "props" to my great friend Mark and sweet friend, Holly, for keeping their blogs up to date. (That's a hint for the rest of you!)

I just got through reading/looking at the photos from Holly's blog and I gotta tell you; I'm feeling really, really old about now. My best friend from high school as five, COUNT 'EM, FIVE kiddos! How does that happen??? (I mean, I know how that happens. No worries, I did watch the video in 5th grade, but really---- five kids???) So, now I lie here thinking about all the things that make me feel old. It's not a bad feeling, just the feeling of life lived. Of blessings. Of joy. Of friendships. Of experience. And so I thought I'd share a new top 10 list....

10 Signs of Age: (in no particular order)

10.) Yawning at 8:30, in bed before 10 ... and feeling good about it.
9.) The NEWS being the first thing I watch in the morning and the last thing I watch at night.
8.) Being content with going to the gym even if the drive there was longer than the actual workout.
7.) Preferring NOT to talk on the phone, if at all possible. (My mom will NEVER believe that!)
6.) Talking to my cat or myself in order to remember things. ( I remember thinking my mom was crazy when she did that.)
5.) Actually saying the words " you have so much potiential, you just need to apply yourself". (I have actually said this to three different kids in my life....again, mom will LOVE that. As will many of my teachers!)
4.) Kids I once taught to play basketball are now kicking my tail at it.
3.) Laugh lines, crows feet, and a list of other body changes I'd rather not discuss (and that's without having children!)
2.) Having to work towards goals for the "next 30 years".
1.) In case I haven't mentioned it --- my best friend from high school has FIVE children. :) (And, I've only met one!)

Yeah, some days I feel really old but most days I just feel very blessed. I think about all the things I've been fortunate enough to do over the past 33 years and pray for another 33 years to have equally enjoyable experiences.

Let me share one short story to tie this all together: I work with a very sick, under-privledged, mis-understood group of people. Today I was working with a 23 year old girl, victimized at a very young age in ways my mind can't even begin to comprehend. As I was trying to assist her with attaining some housing and getting her basic needs met she began yelling at me. After several minutes of cursing and yelling, I finally said "I'm trying to help you. Why are you yelling at me?" Placing her face in her hands, she began to cry unable to speak. I stepped away to give her some time to collect herself. A short time later she entered my office and presented me with a piece of drawing paper. On it was a heart, a few other figures (I honestly couldn't make out) and the phrase "You don't know what you have." When I asked her what this meant she said, "It's the answer to your question."

I share this story to share this --- yes, I may feel old from time to time. I may get frustrated with things I don't have that I thought I'd have by now. Or I may get frustrated with the things that I do have that I thought I'd avoid. But this was just a reminder that I'm blessed. I don't deserve the good things in my life any more or any less than anyone else deserves what they do or do not get. It's just the way it's happened and I'm grateful. And I hope that I am more quick to really identify and acknowledge and give gratitude for what I do have.

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