Sunday, October 05, 2008

Here I Go Again

During my junior year of college I had what is known as a capsular shift to my right shoulder. I remember vividly, waking from the surgery and feeling as though there had been some terrible mistake. I couldn't move my arm at all! The next several months were days of physical therapy, sleepless nights, and a whole lot of dependance on my roommate, Sarah. Years of sports, chronic instability, and poor posture brought about this surgery and now about 10 years later it's time to do it again!

On October 13th I go under the knife again - only this time on my left shoulder. I knew several weeks ago that it was getting to be too much and that this day was likely inevitable. And indeed it is. Yes, I've been through this before and survived; but I gotta be honest --- the fact that I've been through this before causes me great anxiety. It's one thing to opt out of a class now and then, but I'm not likely to opt out of work any more than absolutely necessary. Relying on my roommate to wash my hair, button my pants and prop the pillows was a gift I likely took for granted. Mom is going to stay for a week following the surgery, but those simple day-to-day tasks could be a bit difficult for the next few months. I'm really dreading it. I've thought more than once, "Maybe I should just cancel it. Live through the pain and just be careful not to dislocate it." But, why put off til tomorrow what you can/should do today, right? I'm not getting any younger and its far more likely that I'll recover faster at 34 than I will at 44. So .... here I go again.

*** On a happier note: the TITANS are 5-0!!

3 comments:

Sarah W said...

Hey Traci! Sorry to hear that another surgery is needed! I hope everything goes well. And I'll definitely pray for less anxiety and more peace!

Sarah said...

Take a month off and come up. I have a spare room. I'll take care of you again and provide free entertainment with 2 monkeys :) Good Luck with it all. :(

Mandy said...

I will pray for you and your surgery...